So Long, Insecurity: Week 4

We have officially hit the 1 month mark for our Online Bible Study, friends! Can you believe it?!

In prep for today’s discussion, we were all to read chapters 5 and 6.

So today we are discussing some pretty intense stuff. The chapters we read this week lay down groundwork for the rest of the book. This week prompted us to discover the roots of our insecurity….yikes!! With that being said, it could be a tough week for some people. Talking about what causes our insecurity makes us very vulnerable.

Again, I encourage everyone to participate, but if you do not comment at least journal these or talk about them one-on-one with someone!

So…the roots of insecurity as described in chapters 5 and 6?

• Instability in the home (various types of abuse, divorce, substance abuse by parent, mental or physical illness, financial instability all included).
• Significant loss (person, home, relationship)
• Rejection (parent, friend, spouse, child, significant other)
• Dramatic change (accident, financial crisis, a move, a new baby…positive and negative)
• Personal limitations (learning disability, physical hand, scar, acne)
• Personal disposition and temperament
• Our culture and pressure it puts on women
• Pride

1. Some of these roots of insecurity may seem like no-brainers to you, some might not be. Do any on the list surprise you? And which ones do you most relate to?

Instability in the home

(Re-read page 65-66 for reference)
My notes: The fear that we will never be taken care of. So we keep finding someone who will through relationships. Usually this comes from the same gender who made us feel this way in the first place. Beth uses the example of her father, so she always found insecurities with men.

1. Did you feel experience significant instability in your family?
2. Think about a time when you felt you were on your own, with nobody to take care of you. What prompted the feeling? What effect did it have on you?

Significant loss

(Re-read page 71 for reference)
My notes: If you recall Beth told us last week that insecurity stems from the fear of loss. Think broadly about loss. It doesn’t necessarily mean someone dying.

1. What losses – large or small- have played a part in your insecurity? How does it help you to be reminded that God cares about your loss?

Rejection

(Re-read page 71-72 for reference)
My notes: We aren’t getting the same amount of attention form someone that we think we should be getting. It doesn’t matter who.

1. What people or circumstances make you feel rejected? How do you react when you feel this way?
2. Our perception of rejection is not always accurate, especially when we’re already feeling vulnerable. Can you think of a time when you felt rejected, but looking back you realize that wasn’t the person’s intention? How can you deal with feelings of rejection in a healthy way – whether it is real or just perceived?

Dramatic change

(Re-read page 77 for reference)
My notes: This is not always bad, but it is always big. Our hearts usually translate this as instability or form of loss. We become addicted to dread here. We need change, though!

1. What big changes have you experienced in your life – good or bad? How have these changes brought up feelings of insecurity?

Personal limitations

(Re-read page 81 for reference)
My notes: NOTHING IS MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN A SECURE WOMEN. Wow, did I highlight the heck out of that sentence. This was probably my favorite part of the reading for this week too.

1. What is an example of someone you know whose limitations became their freedom? Why do you think this person was able to rise above their limitations? What role did attitude play?
2. What limitations have played the biggest role in your feelings of insecurity?

Personal disposition

(Re-read page 83 for reference)
My notes: The more tenderhearted we are, the more vulnerable to insecurity we are. It’s just the facts.

1. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being very sensitive), how sensitive would you say you are? How have you seen this correlation between sensitivity an insecurity play out in your life?

Our culture

(Re-read page 92-93 for reference)
My notes: As we have more women to compare to, we are less satisfied with ourselves. This has and will continue to get worse for each generations. We’re all getting older, though. Know where your personal boundaries lie/and are appropriate when it comes to certain situations within our culture.

1. Give some examples of unrealistic portrayals of women from magazines, tv, movies, and books. How do they media portrayals affect your view of yourself? How might they affect other women in your life (daughter, mother, grandparent, sister, friend, classmate)?
2. How can we be discerning consumers of media? Would you consider going on a media “fast”? What do you think the results would be?

Pride

(Re-read page 100-102 for reference)
My notes: We all have egos and we won’t feel better about ourselves by feeling worse about others. And we won’t feel better about ourselves by being consumed with ourselves. Confess your pride to God! And let Him take care of the rest.

1. How has pride been a factor in your life? What circumstances cause it to come about for you?
2. What is the difference between pride and confidence? What role does humility play in true security?

Beth says: “So many of the roots of insecurity come from people who let us down and circumstances that disappoint us-families who weren’t there for us, losses that took their toll on us, people who rejected us. There’s no glossing over the fact that life can be devastatingly difficult. We may feel like we’ve earned the right to live with hurt and insecurity. But those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole. We have the God-given right to be secure.

Now that we’ve got a good grip on the things that bog us down as women, we need to immerse ourselves in what can us truly secure. Through Scripture, I want to remind us just how rock solid our God really is. He is our only real root of security, and He can comfort us through the struggles life presents us.”

1. Read the following verses:
   1. James 1:17
   2. Hebrews 13:8
   3. Psalm 102: 25-27
      What do these verses tell you about God’s character? How can those truths comfort us in the midst of instability or change?
2. Read Psalm 121 and Deuteronomy 31:8. What can we learn about God’s care for us from these verse? How can this help us as we deal with feelings of rejection or loss?

In your journal:

1. Reflect on your insecurity and look at the roots of it. Ask God to help you find 2 or 3 that have impacted you the most and then bring them to Him. Ask for help in overcoming those insecurities.
2. Write down (throughout the week) different ways that the media pressures us about the way we look and act. Find an article, advertisement, or whatever to share with everyone next week!
3. Read Revelation 21:3-5. And then just reflect on the knowledge that God cares so much about you that He will wipe each tear from your eyes! Thank Him for everything during your prayer time today!

Assigned Reading: Chapter 7, 8, and 9. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests?

Have a great day, y’all!