Bookworm Wednesday: April

It’s Bookworm Wednesday! The first Wednesday of every month we all blog about our reads, include this graphic below, and link back to Katie and I!

Then you can go through the links to get ideas from others on what to read next 🙂

2016 Bookworm Wednesday dates:

May 4th
June 1st
July 6th
August 3rd
September 7th
October 5th
November 2nd
December 7th

This month I read two books. Well, really just one book because the other one has been a couple months in the making but March is when I finished it.

Ahhh book #1, Reshaping It All by Candace Cameron Bure was finished within days. I read while I took a bubble bath…am I the only one? Say you do too.

And when I was hanging out with my grandpa…

And in the airport. If I can get excited about a book, there’s no stopping me!

Speaking of excited, I was so excited to read this book that I may have driven to the next town over the night before I left for vacation because they were the only store that had it in stock. I mean, we all know by now that I love me some Candace Cameron Bure. After all, I would invite her on my talk show. I have already read Balancing It All

along with Dancing Through Life.

To see what I thought about those, click here.

As for Reshaping It All…I think I had higher expectations for it that it really didn’t measure up to. I was really excited about this one because I remembered reading in one of her other books that she really dove into her struggle with an eating disorder, so I thought that’s what it was really going to be about. Candace definitely touched on the subject but it wasn’t as in depth as I was hoping for. When I think back on this book I remember her talking the most about her parents, how she was raised, and how that affected her physical life (and really all parts of her life). She too struggled with insecurity, body image, etc. like a lot of us so it was nice to see how she put that into perspective with her faith.

There were also parts at the end of the chapters where she wrote famous quotes and Bible verses and to be honest, I just skipped over them. I really wanted to read the content. I loved that she included recipes at the end of every chapter though!

Overall, if you’re a Candace fan I would definitely recommend you read it because you still learn about her and her life, but if you’re not a Candace fan you probably won’t find it very interesting.

 The other book that I read was for my online Bible study: So Long, Insecurity which was over the series of two months.

My Thoughts:

There was soooooooo much content. It was good information, but when you’re doing the study for 10 weeks and you have to read 2 chapters a week it gets to be a little much. This personally moved too fast for me and my liking. Since I can’t cut down the size of the book, I would spread the study out more. I thought there were a couple times it felt like Beth was rambling.

On the other hand, I loved what Beth had to say. I found myself thinking “oh my gosh she’s right” a lot of the time. Beth had a lot of interesting points and I love that she pulled stories of other women into the book as well. There are so many of us that struggle with this ugly beast and it’s so heartbreaking. There were also a lot of verses mentioned that I wrote down and will refer to again. I am planning to put them in the back of my Bible.

OBS Participant Thoughts:

I sent out a survey to everyone who participated in the study to see what they thought. My opinion is one thing, but I also wanted to get the opinions of everyone else who participated.

100% of the survey participants thought it was a good study overall and would recommend it to a friend.

Here’s a few things that our OBS participants liked:

• The message was something I really need in my life.
• I liked the book that was chosen a lot. It was very relatable with good examples.
• I found myself agreeing with what the author said very often and I could apply different scenarios to my own life.

Here’s a few things our OBS participants didn’t like as much:

• I like studies that have questions that you can fill in throughout the reading.
• I felt there was a lack of communication. I wish we could’ve all discussed it together some way.

If you’re wanting to follow along with this study, just purchase the book and go through all of my OBS posts! You still can!

Next month, the goal is to read 3 books, but with it also being the end of the semester I don’t know how much time I will have to read. I’m almost done with book #1 so that’s a good sign. 😉

And if you’re looking for more book posts:

Book(TV)worm Wednesday – March
Bookworm Wednesday – February
Bookworm Wednesday – January
Bookworm Wednesday – December
Bookworm Wednesday – November
Bookworm Wednesday – October
Bookworm Wednesday – September
Books in July
Books (and some Netflix) in June
Books in May
Books in March

Happy reading this fine Wednesday!

So Long, Insecurity: Week 10

Good morning!

It’s officially our last So Long, Insecurity study.

In preparation for today’s talk we were to read chapters 17 and 18.

A Word From Beth:

You’ve done it! You’ve persevered through this study I am so proud of each of you for tackling your struggles with insecurity head-on. No one knows better than I do how ugly and difficult this journey out of the pit can be. But no one knows better than I do how far God can take us, how much He can transform us, an just how worthwhile the struggle is.

Before we wrap things up, we’re going to hit one more big issue: fear. For many of us, it’s been a debilitating part of our lives. When we have an insecurity attack, it’s a sure et that fear is behind it. We might be afraid of looking stupid, of being rejected, of being alone, of being betrayed, of being insignificant, of being hurt, or of being disrespected – and that’s just the start of the list. There’s no getting away from the fact that the world can be a scary place.

But hear this: God is bigger than our fears. Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world ” (John 16:33). We know that He has overcome the world. Now we have to get that knowledge from our heads to our hearts. We have to learn to trust Him.

When we’re contemplating all the things that terrify us, the things that strike fear into our hearts in the middle of the night and trigger all our insecurities, we would love a guarantee that those fears will never come true. We desperately want a promise that God will supernaturally protect us from sorrow, so we sometimes try to make God into a divine insurance policy. But that’s not the way He works.

Beth says that she used to think the essence of trusting God was trusting that He wouldn’t allow my fears to become realities. Without realizing it, I mostly trusted God to do what I told Him. If He didn’t, I was thrown for a total loop. Over more time than should have been necessary, a couple of realizations finally dawned on me about this thing I was calling trust: 1) It wasn’t the real thing. 2) It constantly failed to treat the core issue. Trusting God to never let our fears come to fruition doesn’t get to the bottom of where insecurity lurks. It’s too conditional…

In order to plant our feet on solid ground, we can drop the conditions off of our trust and determine that God will take care of us no matter what. (pg. 323-325)

1. Have you ever “trusted” God to do what you told Him? What was the outcome of that situation?
2. What do you think trusting God really looks like?

On pages 327-328 Beth talks about a time when God prompted her to think through some of her deepest fears. What if they came to pass? What would happen then? Re-read pg. 327-328 from “He and I both knew what I would do” to “just as you and I have done a dozen other times.”

1. What do you think would happen if your own worst fears became reality? Why does fear lose its power when we picture God with us or on the other side of our tragedies?

Insecurity feeds like a starving wolf off fear of the future – and not just the distant future of aging, infirmity, or death. Insecurity fears what might happen later today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Next week. Next year. Next decade. Its constant mantra is, “What will I do if…?” Fear of the future makes people settle for things in the present that completely defy abundant life. It also insults the grace of God that will be piled in heaps for us when hardship comes. We agonize over how we’ll possibly make it, yet all the while we can glance over our shoulders and see where God has carried us. And often through worse than what we’re afraid of now.

When you feel that familiar panic begin to rise in your heart like a river coursing its banks and your should begins to roll with another round of “What will I do if…?” what would happen if you were willing to hear the voice of God whisper these inaudible words? Child, you are asking the wrong question. Here’s the one that would assuage your fears: What will God do if…? (pg. 332-333)

1. How would you life change if you stopped asking, “What will I do if…?” and started asking “What will God do if…?”
2. What are some things that God promises us? (See page 333). Which of these promises are especially meaningful for you as you face your fears?

Other questions to answer:

1. Read Psalm 27:1-6. According to this passage, why don’t we need to fear?
2. What does David, the write of this psalm, set forth as his ultimate desire? (See v. 4)

Verse 4 presents a beautiful picture of intimacy with God – living close to Him, gazing on I’m, seeking Him, and finding Him. That’s what David really wanted. And I think that’s the basis for David’s conclusion at the end of the psalm: “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13). When David lived in close communion with God, he saw God’s goodness. David’s outward circumstances might not have changed, but his eyes were opened to God’s beauty, and he rejoiced in God’s presence with him. David learned to trust the Lord, and in doing so, he was able to let go of his fears.

3. Read Psalm 46:1-3. What strikes you about the psalmist’s trust in God in this passage?
4. Where does the psalmist’s comfort come from?

To wrap it all up:

1. At the end of chapter 18 Beth writes that her goal at the conclusion of this journey is to cease being motivated to thought or action in any way by insecurity. What is your goal as you finish this study?

Beth’s prayer for all women in this group is that God worked big things in your lives. May you continue to challenge one another, strengthen one another, and build each other up as you rest solidly in the security of Christ.

1. What has God done in your life through this book or through this experience? Where do you want to go from here?

In your journal:

1. Reread the list of God’s promises (pg.333), and look up the scriptures indicated. Ask God to help you understand and believe these promises.
2. Reread your journal entries from week 1 where you wrote about what you wanted to get out of the study and how you wanted to change. Has the group experience met your expectations? Prayerfully consider new goals as you finish the group time and move forward from here.

For everyone who participated, I am so happy that you did. For everyone who didn’t participate, I hope you consider it. All you have to do is purchase the book and then follow my posts that I hosted right here.

I hope each of you have enjoyed this study as much as I have. I know I will probably be going back and looking through it again to follow along better and catch what I might have missed.

Have a fantastic day!

So Long, Insecurity: Week 9

Happy St. Pat’s Day, my friends!

Today on the blog, it is our second to last meeting of online Bible study. If you have been participating, make sure to click here to see previous weeks. If you haven’t been participating, you always can. Buy the book by clicking the picture on my sidebar, and go through these weekly posts.

A Word From Beth:

“In this week’s discussion we can start moving the focus off our own insecurity. We will be thinking not just about how we experience triggers to insecurity but about other women and how we can help them deal with their triggers.

I’ll admit that when I invite women to share their vulnerabilities with each other, I’m suggesting something a little scary. Because let’s be honest: a struggling junior high girl who tells the popular girls that they make her feel insecure is, unfortunately, just asking for more of the same. But we’re not in junior high anymore, sisters (and praise the Lord for that!). In some ways, we’re all both the struggling girl and the popular girl. We all wrestle with insecurities, and we all (knowingly or not) do things that make others feel insecure. So let’s be open with each other and respond to that openness with support, respect, and honesty.”

Beth says: When I surveyed men about their take on women’s insecurities, one respondent said this:

“Most obvious is when women are around other women; they try to size each other up and look for reasons to not get along rather than to get along. They seem easily intimidated, whether by physical beauty, character status, or whatever makes them feel that the other woman has more going for her, and a barrier goes up. (pg. 275-276)

1. How do you respond to this take on female relationships? Has insecurity ever robbed you of what could have been a rich friendship with another woman? Has it affected the type of woman you befriend?

She says: I have to admit that there’s more than a snippet of truth to what this man says. We women do sometimes let barriers come between us-and that’s terrible shame. Let’s do our best to break the mold by taking a look at four things we can do to promote security among the women around us. First, we need to stop making comparisons.

Now read from “our constant propensity” to “give credit to someone else?” on pg. 279-280.

1. Talk about a time you fell victim to the “bad math” of insecurity (see pages 280-281). How can we correct our thinking when this happens?

Second, we need to start personalizing the other women. Read from “In order to nurse a rival mentality” to “in Jesus’ name.” (pg. 284, 286)

1. Have you ever felt your insecure or jealous feelings evaporate when something occurred that humanized your “rival”? What happened?

Third, we don’t trip another woman’s insecurity switch. Read from “We all have just enough meanness in us” to “build up our wounded selves at somebody else’s expense.” (pg. 288-289)

1. Tell someone else that you’re feeling insecure requires great vulnerability. How would you react if someone came to you with a situation like those described on pages 287-288 and humbly suggested that you were acting as a trigger? How could good friends or family members handle this?

The fourth way we can help others is to be examples of secure women. Read from “Most women will” to “because it’s as contagious to its counterpart” (pg. 290)

1. Who have been examples of secure women in your life? What impact have they had on you?

When we cultivate the kind of focus where we take our minds off ourselves and think of others first our perspective changes. Our culture tells us to major on the minors, to embrace the superficial and spend our time and energy worrying about ourselves. And guess what? That’s a prime recipe for insecurity. We have to find the way out. Read “Human nature dictates” to “you must lose yourself in something larger” on pg. 309-310 to see how Beth puts it in chapter 16.

1. Tell about a time when serving God or focusing on someone else freed you from the self-absorption of insecurity. Why do you think this happens?

The next section we will talk about today is the passage from Isaiah 58 that Beth quotes in chapter 16 (pg. 317-318). Before you read the verses, keep in mind the context. The Israelites were asking why God seemed not to hear them when they prayed. They held up their fasting as proof of their righteousness, but the Lord indicted them with their own actions. They patted themselves on the back because they went to the Temple, but otherwise they did as they pleased (v.3). They were oppressing their own workers, and even their days of fasting were ruined by quarrels and violence. They pretended to do the right things, but in reality, they were self-absorbed and superficial-and probably miserable as a result.

1. Read Isaiah 58: 6-11. What do verses 6-7 tell us about the attitude God wants us to have toward others?
2. According to verses 8-11, what will happen when we adjust our attitude outward instead of inward? What images are used to communicate the idea of renewal and refreshment?

There’s no question that the world benefits when we break free of our self-absorption and serve others. But the amazing thing is that we benefit as well. When we have a sense of purpose that goes beyond our own skin, we are renewed, refreshed, and satisfied.

As we think about moving our focus beyond ourselves, let’s look at some Scripture passages that address our relationships with other women. Keep your eyes open to ways we can build each other up and help each other find security.

1. Read Galatians 5:22-26. How does celebrating each person’s uniqueness help us avoid jealousy and unhealthy comparisons? What role does the Holy Spirit play in helping us accomplish this?
2. Read John 13:34-35. What is Jesus’ command here? What are some specific things that would happen if we followed it?
3. When we get caught up in insecurity, too often we depersonalize those who threaten us. How does loving someone keep us from viewing her only as a competitor?
4. Read Matthew 5:43-45. WH do you think we are commanded to pray for our enemies? How does the act of praying for them – or other people who just rub us the wrong way, threaten us, and trigger every possible security button – change us?

To wrap it all up:

We’ll never be healed of our self-centeredness until we are wounded irreparably with love for an aching world. Insecurity puts us in a prison of self-absorbtion, but when we reach out to others, those prison bars are shattered. Sharing the love of Christ will become life to us, bringing us renewal, perspective, and purpose. May we leave our superficiality behind and reap the benefits God will graciously bestow.

In your journal:

1. Think through your closest female relationships. What things do others do that trip your insecurity switch? Are there things you’re doing that likely trip other people’s triggers? What could you do to change?
2. Consider the questions from page 310. What is your passion? What do you want your life to be about? If you long for something that makes you feel fully alive and part of something specific God is doing for the greater good, ask Him to nurture that vision in you.

Assigned Reading: Chapter 17 and 18. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests?

See y’all soon for our last week!

So Long, Insecurity: Week 8

Happy Monday!

 

It’s time for week 8 of SLI. If you have been participating, make sure to click here to see previous weeks. If you haven’t been participating, you can. Buy the book by clicking the picture on my sidebar, and go through these weekly posts.

Here’s a word from Beth this week:

I’m excited for this week’s discussion. We’ve spent some valuable time laying the groundwork to help us understand why we struggle with insecurity and what triggers it. We’ve looked at errors in our thinking-about ourselves and about men-and we’ve started to correct those. We’ve talked about looking at Jesus to regain perspective, and about letting go of our desire to play God. This week we get to move into more practical, hands-on material: what do we do when our insecurity is triggered?

Maybe for years you’ve been reacting the same way. You feel threatened, your insecurity raises its ugly head, and almost before you can blink, you’ve melted into a puddle of hysterical neediness. Trust me, I’ve been there-and it’s not pretty. But hear me on this: it doesn’t have to be that way. No matter how entrenched a pattern is in our lives, we are not domed to be stuck in it forever. Our God is a God of transformation! He is in the business of changing lives. But He will not do it without our consent. We have to be willing to enter into the process. And once we begin, we can use one of the potent tools God has given us: the power to choose.

 

Here we go with week 8!

A few things about chapter 13:

The most prized possession God gave humankind when He formed Adam from the dust of the earth was the power to choose. Nowhere do we bear the image of our Creator more forthrightly than in the ability to exercise our free will…
By choosing to have a different reaction prior to a different emotion, we can effect an immediate sense of heightened security. The reaction leads to a new feeling, and the new feeling leads to more consistent reactions. Result? We spiral up.

One of the most common human claims is that we can’t change the way we feel. That may be true, but we can change the way we think, which changes the way we act. And as we change the way we act, the way we feel also begins to change. In the breaking of every habit, someone wills it first and feels it later. (pg.239-241)

1. How do you respond to this idea that our feelings follow our thoughts and actions? Does it seem possible? Does it give you hope?
2. Have your emotions ever changed in response to your actions? Describe a time when you chose to act a certain way because it was the right thing to do, even though it was contrary to your emotions at the time. What happened?

Being secure doesn’t mean always being on an even keel. God made us to experience emotions, and in fact, He also experiences emotions! But our feelings don’t have to be paired with insecurity, and they don’t have to drive the way we respond to situations.

1. On pg. 244-245 Beth gives examples of “self-talk”: deliberate statements you can say to yourself when your insecurities are triggered. Have you ever tried this? What was the result? Which of these statements seem most helpful to you?

On page 246 Beth writes:

God gave you your security, and nobody gets to force it from you. You must make up your mind that the only way someone can take it from you is for you to hand it over. You have the right to hold on to security for dear life in every situation and every relationship. It’s the power of choice.

1. Does it surprise you to think that you have the power to choose security? How would your life be different if you held on to security “for dear life”?
2. What practical steps can you take to help change the way you think? *Check Beth’s suggestions on pg. 257.*

***Here is something to think about from the end of Chapter 14.***

Just because we have estrogen milking up our bloodstream doesn’t mean we have to carry on the insecurities of a preteen girl. We really can grow up. As hard as it is, we really can take responsibility. We really can find freedom. We can sit around and think about how pathetic we are, or we really can pursue some healing-for ourselves and for that preteen girl. You and I…have got to make a definitive decision to be strong for our daughters. And don’t even try handing me the excuse that you’re not a mom so this doesn’t apply to you. The entire generation of adult women in any culture is systematically raising the next, whether they mean to be or not. Every acne-faced middle school girl you pass in the mall, texting on her cell phone or checking out that older guy in the food court, is your daughter. What are you going to do about her? What would you be willing to do for her? Pg. 273

1. What legacy do you want to pass on to the next generation of women?

In these chapters I’ve challenged you-and myself-to take a big step. We can exercise that power to choose, and we can make a change. In this section we’ll look at some Scriptures that remind us that God is on our side in this battle. He has given us the power to choose, and He will help us exercise it. He is the one who does the changing, but we have to be willing to take each next step.

One of the very first things we can change is our thinking. If you’ve ever read through the Psalms, you know that David and the other psalmists provide plenty of evidence of their humanness. They’re not on some super-spiritual plane, far above the world’s problems. When we read some of their words, we sense anger, doubt, fear, and grief. But they also call themselves back to the right perspective-often by praising the Lord.

1. Read Psalm 42. What complaints does the writer of this psalm make? What emotions does he express?
2. The same words are used as a refrain in verses 5 and 11. What does the psalmist remind himself of here? What can we learn from this passage about changing out attitudes by first changing our thinking?
3. Read Deuteronomy 30:19-20, taking note of the power we are given to choose. What are the Israelites being encouraged to choose in this passage? What benefits are promised as a result of that choice?

The Israelites didn’t just make a choice once and for all. The next several books of the Old Testament illustrate that they had to choose time and again. Just like us, they made the right choices followed by the wrong ones. They forgot about the Lord’s blessings and had to remind themselves over and over.

It’s easy to get discouraged when we repeat our mistakes. But we shouldn’t give up! We know that they Holy Spirit is working in our hearts. We are called to persevere.

1. Read Philippians 3:7-12. What is Paul trying to gain? Based on this passage, what things does he value?
2. How might these verses encourage us as we seek transformation?

When we allow the Lord to heal us and change us, we can have a powerful testimony to others. As Beth writes in Chapter 14,

God cured me of my own gross unfaithfulness. He healed my unloveliness with His own love. As I live and breathe, I am not the woman I used to be, but the fact is, I started this journey because I wasn’t yet the woman I wanted to be…

As long as we’re here in these human bodies on the topsoil of planet Earth instead of six feet under shoving up weeds, we’ll always have a few places that could use some curing. And we won’t need curing just for our own sakes. (Pg. 270-271)

Psalm 40:1-3 says, “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.” May others put their trust in the Lord when they see His work in our lives.

In your journal:

1. Write scripts that will help you combat the most common insecurity triggers you face. *See pg. 244-245 for ideas*
2. Ask the Lord for insight as you consider whether there is anything in your close relationships that you need to confront or change. What boundaries might you need to set?
3. Write in detail the legacy that you want to leave to the women who come behind you. How do you want them to view themselves? What do you need to deal with so you can set a strong example? Ask the Lord to reveal these areas where you need His transforming power.

Assigned Reading: Chapter 15 and 16. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests?

What a way to start our week! Have a great Monday!

So Long, Insecurity: Week 7

YOU GUYS!

I’m so angry this morning!!

I had this entire post already written Saturday night and I went to save it and it said “It couldn’t be saved”, so I copied and pasted it and tried to reload the page. Well, when I went to paste my post in another page…THERE WAS NOTHING TO PASTE. So this post that I spent hours on, literally, was completely gone. Now i’m all backed up since I didn’t get everything done yesterday that I want to.

Angry. This. Morning. Still. But i’ll get over it at some point or another.

Here’s a word from Beth this week:

I have a feeling some of you might not be thrilled to be here today. There are some tough things that we have to face about our own tendencies as women that frankly don’t make us look so good. It can be difficult to face head-on the ways our insecurity can damage relationships and hurt the people closest to us-husband, children, other family members, close friends. I won’t pretend this process is pleasant, but there’s no other way than to hold up the mirror and face reality. It’s time for us to be honest about how our fears sometimes jack the best relationships we have going for us – and then figure out how to change that.

We’re coming down the homestretch of this study, and the most encouraging, practical material is still ahead. I encourage you to press on. In the spirit of 2 Corinthians 8:11, “Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it.” Translation? Let’s finish strong!

Alright so here we go…

Let’s start by touching on some of the survey results shared in Ch.12. Based on the way the men responded to questions about how women exhibit insecurity, it’s lear that we’re not hiding our issues nearly as well as we think we are. Men see what we’re doing, and they’re not impressed.

1. What were some of the things men pointed out in women as signs of insecurity? Does this list seem accurate to you? What surprised you about the survey respondents’ perceptions?

Some of the men even expressed frustration about constantly having to reassure the women in their life. One husband wrote about his frustrations saying:

“Typical, common, widespread insecurities include looks, body shapes, lack of education or perceived intelligence, neediness, and many others. It manifests itself in nagging, self-doubt, self-loathing, seeking approval/validatoin, and the need for constant reassurance. It gets quite tiring of men who, as we get older, just love you for exactly the way you are. Can you not understand that? We are not lying when we tell you we love you, you’re beautiful, and we enjoy being with you. When women’s insecurities are vividly displayed to us, it turns us off, frustrates us to no extent, and perplexes us. Get over it!” Pg.236-237

1. How do you react to this statement? In what ways has insecurity affected your relationships with the men around you?

As we can see, men are repelled by open displays of female insecurities. In the long run, it doesn’t make them more tender to us, more careful with us, or more loving towards us. Not even more attached to us. It makes them, in the words of another guy, want to “run for their lives”. It may not be fair, but it is definitely a fact.

Read through on Pg. 237 from “after months of research….to women want to be with someone they can respect.”

1. How might your relationship with your significant other change if you were characterized by security and confidence? Does the prospect of healthier relationships provide you with additional motivations to deal with your insecurity?

Keep in mind the convictions that we are talking about throughout this section don’t have to be sexual. The sad truth is that sometimes we feel threatened if our man is truly on fire for the Lord because somehow we think his passion for God negates his passion for us. If that sense of threat causes us to do whatever we can to break down his enthusiasm and drag him back to a safe middle ground, we’re in big trouble. When we deliberately pull a man down from his God-given convictions, we are playing the devil-and we need to recognize it and stop.

1. Share about a time you felt threatened by the convictions of a man in your life? What do you think was behind this fear?

Beth goes into talking about omnipotence and omniscience. Omnipotence is “all-knowing” and Beth says that an insecure person’s greatest need for control is directed toward those who have the most potential to either threaten her security or strengthen it. (WOW). That’s often times why we go after boyfriends, husbands, significant others. Re-read the section on page 208-209.

1. Whom do you find yourself most wanting to control? What do you think is the connection between insecurity and a desire for control?
2. How is appropriate parental authority different from excessive parental control?

“I believe our greatest challenge as women is to avoid trying to control someone toward  what we’re genuinely convinced is a better life. The more insecure we are, the more tempting it is because something is in it for us, too. In other words, if my loved one would __________, then i’d be ___________.” (Pg. 210)

1. How would you fill in the blanks?
2. What are some ways we can combat the tendency to play God in the lives of those we love?

Beth says the bottom line about control is that people will always do what they want. You can’t make them, force them, change them, or deliver them. Only God can. And that’s why He is the omnipotent one. (Pg. 214)

1. Have ou ever come up against the realization that you can’t change anyone? What were the circumstances?

The next issue that we talk about is our desire to be like God: omniscience, or the desire to know it all. (UH, YES). We want to know everything. On pg. 215-218 Beth tells us a story about a woman she knew that found out too much information on her fiancé. Re-read everything on page. 218-219.

1. Have you ever found yourself in a station where you asked for more information than you could handle? What happened?
2. Have you ever sensed that God was setting limits on your knowledge based on what you can handle? Have you ever set boundaries for what you should or shouldn’t know? How do you know when you’re crossing a boundary?

As we look at scripture today we see some ways that we try to play God. Beth’s goal is for us to re-gain the right perspective about God. She hopes that when we see His power and knowledge, we’ll see that he really doesn’t need help.

1. Read Psalm 104: 24-32. Think about the images of God’s power that are included.
2. What phrases or images stand out the most to you? How is God’s power-his omnipotence-communicated?
3. Read Isaiah 55: 8-11. What does it mean that the Lord’s thoughts are higher than ours?
4. How does a bigger, more accurate picture of God help us gain perspective on ourselves and our limitations?
5. God can do anything!! Read 1 Thessalonians 5: 23-24. How is God changing us? What does He promise in this passage?
6. Read Philippians 1: 3-6. What is Paul confident about (verse 6)? How can this assurance give us hope-and cure us of our desire to change others?

In your journal:

1. If you’ve experienced a situation where you grasped for more information than you could handle, ask the Lord for His help and healing this week. Pray for the ability to discern and respect the boundaries He sets for you.
2. Think about the situations in your life that tempt you to try to be omnipotent or omniscient. What do you need to let go of? Ask God to help you develop a plan for dealing with these temptations.
3. If you’re feeling brave, ask your spouse or close friend how you and your relationships could benefit from your increased security. What steps can you take this week in that direction?

Assigned Reading: Chapter 13 and 14. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests?

Let God be God today. Have a great Monday!

So Long, Insecurity: Week 6

Good mourning, Monday! (Haha!! I originally typed morning to be “moooorrrnnning” but it auto-corrected to that one and I feel as though it might be more fitting ;))

In prep for today’s discussion, we were all to read chapter 10.

Last week our discussion ended with the challenge to spend one-on-one time with God, reflecting the prayer in chapter 9. Were you able to take that time? If you would like to share, tell us how the experience went. Was it meaningful? Humbling? Weird? Challenging? Encourage? What did you take away from your time with God?

Here’s a word from Beth this week:

I hope all of you were able to pray through chapter 9 last week. My prayer is that someday each of you will be able to look back and see this as a turning point in your life-the moment when you decided insecurity was no longer going to control you. May it be a fresh start for all of us new creatures in Christ as we find our security in Him.

This week we are talking about men-how we view them, the insecurities the deal with, and our unreasonable expectation that they will provide our security. Hear me on this: our discussion today is not just for married women or women involved in romantic relationships. Even if your last date was so long ago you can’t see it in your rearview mirror, you have something to add to the conversation. All of us interact with men in various ways whether they’re our husbands or our boyfriends, or our fathers, sons, pastors, bosses, neighbors, or friends.

Women don’t’t have a corner on the insecurity market, Men are insecure, too, even though they may show it in different ways. Let’s have compassion on them as we have this discussion, remember that they are, above all, our brothers in Christ.

As shared in chapter 10, a number of men responded to survey questions on Beth’s blog about their own insecurities. Re-read some of them in pages 181-187.

1. What areas do you notice as common sources of insecurity? Do ay of these surprise you?

*Lots of them included wife’s happiness, worries about infidenlity, physical appearance, relationships, and fear of failure. Hmmmm, sounds familiar right ladies?*

Beth’s son-in-law named fear of failure as men’s number 1 insecurity. And she said he definitely hit the nail on the head.

Two areas of potential failure floated to the top among the responses. In uncontested first place: failure to provide. The fear was so raw and real that it stirred up significant compassion in me, shook loose a few preconceptions, and gave me a new appreciate for what men face…
The temptation for men to confuse who they are with what they make is astronomical. Add economic meltdowns, foreclosures, pay cuts, and layoffs to the landscape, and you’ve got yourself a serious breeding group pro insecurity. The thought occurred to me that the same culture that makes so many women feel inadequate physically makes just as many men feel inadequate financially. (page 186-187)

1. Why do you think fear of failure tops the list of male insecurities? What pressures does our society place on men that feed these fears?
2. How might being aware of these fears give you insight into the men in your life (husband, father, son, brother, supervisor, etc.)?

The survey also revealed that men tend to respond to insecurity different than women. Men withdraw. (Re-read on page 194-195). And why does Beth continue to talk about how women aren’t the only gender that struggles with insecurities? Because more often than not we view men has gods or devils. We should understand they they’re as human as we are. Too often we vacillate between adoring them and abhorring them…neither of which is healthy.

1. How have you observed the tendency to withdraw in the men in your life? How might interpreting this as a single of insecurity change the way you react?
2. Give examples from movies or books or anything that shows our tendency to idealize men and see them as solutions to our problems.
3. Can you think of times in your life when you thought of men this way? How did it affect your relationships and sense of self-worth?

In Mark 8:22-25 we read where Jesus restores the bling man’s sight. This was a literal healing that must have amazed those who saw it and heard about it. The same wonderful Jesus who touched this blind man’s eye can tough us, too, so we can see properly. It’s no less miraculous when Jesus respites our spiritual vision, allowing us to see things (and people) clearly. Let’s look at some passages that give us clarify as we seek a correct perspective on men.

1. Read Romans 3:21-24. What blunt truth does this passage tell us about humans, men and women alike? How does this truth keep us from either criticizing men or putting them on a pedestal?
2. Read Genesis 1:26-27. What do men and women have in common, according to this passage? What does it mean to be made in God’s image? What effect should this have on how we treat men or think about them?
3. Read Ephesians 4:1-6. According to this passage, how are we instructed to live with each other as believers? How are these qualities affecting the way we interact with our Christian brothers?

Beth says: The only way we can develop a healthy, God-honoring view of humans-male or female-is to see them as God sees them. And the only way we learn to do this is from God. When we keep our eyes on Him, incredible things can happen. Our who way of thinking can be realigned.

1. Read Matthew 14:22-32. What fears and carries was peter able to overcome when he kept his eyes on Christ? And why was he able to do this?
2. Fear of the storm, fear that Jesus was a ghost, fear of the impossible (knowing he shouldn’t be able to walk on water!). What happened when Peter noticed the wind and looked down the waves?

We sometimes criticize Peter for losing his nerve so quickly, but let’s not forget the guts it took to step out of the boat in the first place. Peter was  fisherman and had spent a lot of time on the water. He knew very well that according to all the normal, natural laws, it was physically impossible for him to step on the water. Yet when his eyes and thoughts were fixed on Jesus, he was able to get out of the boat. He knew that if Jesus was calling him, nothing else mattered. The storm was scary, but Jesus was more powerful. The water was wild and wet and decidedly not solid ground, but Jesus could transform it. Peter knew that on his own he was weak and sinful and afraid, but with Jesus in from of him, all of that faded away.

1. Can you relate to Peter? Share a time when focusing on Christ enabled you to overcome fears or barriers.

*When we keep our eyes on Jesus, everything else-even the scary stuff, even our biggest hang-ups about men, even our elephant-sized insecurities-will fade. Looking at Christ helps us regain our perspective.*

1. Let’s finish up today by reading Hebrews 12:1-2. Where should we fix our eyes? How does that perspective change the way we view others around us?

In your journal:

1. Re-read the quote from page 200-201 that starts with “Oh, that we would not fight…to…God-given dignity-and feet of clay”. Write down your needs this week, take the time to pray for others in your life as well.
2. Consider the flawed ways that you have viewed men. You may want to think of a few specific men who have played significant roles in your life and evaluate your attitude toward them. Have you erred toward adoring them or loathing them? Confess this to God and ask Him to correct your perspective.
3. Write Hebrews 12:1-2 and put it somewhere you will see it often. Every time you read it this week, ask God to help you fix your eyes on Jesus.

Assigned Reading: Chapter 11 and 12. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests?

Have a great Monday!

So Long, Insecurity: Week 5

Half way through Online Bible Study already?? That’s just crazy!

In prep for today’s discussion, we were all to read chapters 7, 8, and 9.

Chapter 7 consisted of stories from other females about their insecurities and how far it’s made them go in their lives. Chapter 9 was a prayer we all will individually looked at, so this week is going to focus on Chapter 8.

Again, I encourage everyone to participate, but if you do not comment at least journal these or talk about them one-on-one with someone!

1. Like I said, Chapter 7 was made up of stories from women letting insecurity creep in and control part of their lives. So which one stood out to you and why? Maybe you share here or journal about a time that insecurity got the best of you and you made a fool of yourself.
2. Did anyone find examples (from last weeks homework) of ways the media puts pressure on women? What did you find? And how did you react to it?

Now that we have looked at all the roots of insecurity this is where we start looking at the solutions and not so much the problems! This is the good part!! We probably now have a good idea of why we’re insecure, whether it’s because of one root or many intertwined ones. Chapter 7 shows us the ridiculous and destructive things insecurity can make us do, and those are things we want to stop! Next we’ll look at becoming secure women. Chapter 8 focuses on Proverbs 31:25. Surely you’ve heard it multiple times throughout your life. This verse addresses the worthy goal of dignity.

1. What images or people come to mind when you hear the word dignity? Who are some women that you know who fit the description? Is dignity a characteristic you asccoeit with yourself?

On pages 148-149 Beth writes: Insecurity is about losing our God-given dignity…Our enemy is hoping we’ll get caught in a pitiful cycle of reacting to a sudden rush of insecurity with foolishness, feeling even more insecure, acting even more foolish, and then feeling vastly more insecure. He wants us to keep digging ourselves deeper and deeper into a hole until we feel completely stuck in this miserable corkscrew of self-hated. Listen carefully: we can begin to break this cycle this very day…The cycle begins to break when even though we may still feel insecure, we make a deliberate choice to not act on that feeling.

1. How have you experienced this cycle? Have you been able to break it in th past? Do you think it’s possible to change?

On Pages 150-152 Beth shares some of her story about dealing with insecurity. In her words: “Healing hasn’t happened all at once for me-it has been more of a process. But I know that Christ has the power to set us free from anything-including insecurity. He doesn’t want us to stay stuck there; He wants to transform us so we can see the dignity we have in Him. Let’s unpack a few of the ideas we can find in the key verse this week of Proverbs 31:25:

She is clothed with strength and dignity.

On page 155 Beth writes:

I have come to a place where I’m willing to be transparent with my security, but I find great relief that human eyes have to see it through the filter-the clothing-of my God-given strength and dignity. I don’t have to stand before you or anybody else in total emotional nakedness. I have a scriptural covering that gives me the courage to expose my most personal self. When you and I are triggered to expose the most vulnerable, broken parts of ourselves through a rush of insecurity, we can train ourselves to immediately recite this truth to your souls: “It’s okay. I’m completely clothed.” An oddly, that very thought all by itself begins the healing. We are not nearly as likely to react with the same level of insecurity when we remember how well covered we are by God.

1. What does it mean to be clothed by God? How does this image help you as you think about putting yourself in vulnerable situations-maybe even this discussion group-where you could be revealing your weakness? (Maybe not to the group but either to yourself or someone else)

Proverbs 31:10 is often translated using the phrase “a virtuous woman.” But the Hebrew term for virtuous is also used to mean “mighty.” Word Biblical Commentary translates the phrase as “a woman of valor.” As we see in verse 25, the woman is described as being clothed with strength!

1. What women do you know who demonstrate might, strength, or valor? Can you think of an incident or season in your own life when those words described you?

***Surround yourself with these women!! Proverbs 13:20 comes to mind for me here.****

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines dignity as “the quality or set of being worthy, honored, or esteemed.” Psalm 8:5 says that God “crowned [humans] with glory and honor,” and here honor is derived from the same Hebrew term that means “dignity.” In other words, we are worthy, honored, and esteemed because God gave those qualities to us! We are His prized creation. When we’re faced with insecurity triggers, we can counter these lies with statements of truth. For example,

• God has made me worthy of respect.

• I’m completely clothed by God.

• I am strong in Christ.

• What others think of me is less important than what God says is true of me.

1. Which of these affirmations would be most helpful for you? How can you be intentional about incorporating them into your thinking? What others can you suggest?

You are clothes with dignity! You are worthy of honor and respect!

*Chapter 9 was written to give women an opportunity to ask God, in a time of heartfelt, focused prayer, to restore their dignity and deliver them from insecurity. Since the chapter is personal, one-on-one time with God, most of the content will be addressed in the “On Your Own” part.*

Re-read the part of page 162-163 from “Hear this at a yell…to thank Him in advance because you know that what you’ve asked is as good as done.”

1. How can we approach God with a request when we’re certain it’s in His will? What kind of freedom does this give us?

Now read 1 John 5:14-15 and John 15:7. What things can we know absolutely are in God’s will? How can you approach God with confidence as you move into this week of targeted prayer?

Another prayer God always answers is a request for Him to root out our pride. We talked earlier about what a big favor pride is in our insecurity. Why? Because a big ego makes us put ourselves front and center. We waste valuable time and energy wondering if we’re prettier or smarter or more accomplished that other people around us-and then dealing with the backlash when we come across someone who clearly outranks us in those areas. Everything becomes about us, and too often we can’t see past ourselves to notice the real hurt and needs around us. If we are willing to humble ourselves, God will help us change that attitude.

1. Read Philippians 2:1-4. What does the passage tell us about pride? In practical terms, what does humility look like?

Pride constricts our thinking. Humility expands it. Pride gives us tunnel vision so narrow we can barely see two inches in front of our faces. And, what’s worse, it sucks us dry of energy and compassion. Let’s be honest: constantly comparing ourselves with others is exhausting. That’s why the next passage is so great.

1. Read Matthew 11:28-30. What strikes you about Jesus’ example of humility? What kind of rest do you think Jesus is talking about here?

Beth writes: Jesus invites us to stop striving so hard. We can stop trying to get God to love us because of the things we do. We can stop seeking other people’s approval. We can stop competing in our own internal contests, trying to be the first or the best or the most popular. Those are the things that burden us and exhaust us. We don’t need to hold on to pride! We don’t have to complete because Jesus offers grace and rest when we follow Him. His love is conditional. The value He places on us as His beloved creation is unconditional. You don’t have to earn the right to have respect and dignity-He makes you worthy of it. Praise the Lord!!!!

In your journal:

1. Set aside time with Jesus this week to really talk to Him and pray. Ask him to speak into your life and encourage you with your walk towards security.
2. Re-read and pray through the prayer in Chapter 9. Make it personal and real. God will answer. I am reminded of one of my favorite verses here.
   Matthew 21:22 “Pray for anything and if you have faith you will receive it.”

Assigned Reading: Chapter 10. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests?

Have a great Monday, y’all! And don’t forget Proverbs 31:25 this week.

So Long, Insecurity: Week 4

We have officially hit the 1 month mark for our Online Bible Study, friends! Can you believe it?!

In prep for today’s discussion, we were all to read chapters 5 and 6.

So today we are discussing some pretty intense stuff. The chapters we read this week lay down groundwork for the rest of the book. This week prompted us to discover the roots of our insecurity….yikes!! With that being said, it could be a tough week for some people. Talking about what causes our insecurity makes us very vulnerable.

Again, I encourage everyone to participate, but if you do not comment at least journal these or talk about them one-on-one with someone!

So…the roots of insecurity as described in chapters 5 and 6?

• Instability in the home (various types of abuse, divorce, substance abuse by parent, mental or physical illness, financial instability all included).
• Significant loss (person, home, relationship)
• Rejection (parent, friend, spouse, child, significant other)
• Dramatic change (accident, financial crisis, a move, a new baby…positive and negative)
• Personal limitations (learning disability, physical hand, scar, acne)
• Personal disposition and temperament
• Our culture and pressure it puts on women
• Pride

1. Some of these roots of insecurity may seem like no-brainers to you, some might not be. Do any on the list surprise you? And which ones do you most relate to?

Instability in the home

(Re-read page 65-66 for reference)
My notes: The fear that we will never be taken care of. So we keep finding someone who will through relationships. Usually this comes from the same gender who made us feel this way in the first place. Beth uses the example of her father, so she always found insecurities with men.

1. Did you feel experience significant instability in your family?
2. Think about a time when you felt you were on your own, with nobody to take care of you. What prompted the feeling? What effect did it have on you?

Significant loss

(Re-read page 71 for reference)
My notes: If you recall Beth told us last week that insecurity stems from the fear of loss. Think broadly about loss. It doesn’t necessarily mean someone dying.

1. What losses – large or small- have played a part in your insecurity? How does it help you to be reminded that God cares about your loss?

Rejection

(Re-read page 71-72 for reference)
My notes: We aren’t getting the same amount of attention form someone that we think we should be getting. It doesn’t matter who.

1. What people or circumstances make you feel rejected? How do you react when you feel this way?
2. Our perception of rejection is not always accurate, especially when we’re already feeling vulnerable. Can you think of a time when you felt rejected, but looking back you realize that wasn’t the person’s intention? How can you deal with feelings of rejection in a healthy way – whether it is real or just perceived?

Dramatic change

(Re-read page 77 for reference)
My notes: This is not always bad, but it is always big. Our hearts usually translate this as instability or form of loss. We become addicted to dread here. We need change, though!

1. What big changes have you experienced in your life – good or bad? How have these changes brought up feelings of insecurity?

Personal limitations

(Re-read page 81 for reference)
My notes: NOTHING IS MORE IMPRESSIVE THAN A SECURE WOMEN. Wow, did I highlight the heck out of that sentence. This was probably my favorite part of the reading for this week too.

1. What is an example of someone you know whose limitations became their freedom? Why do you think this person was able to rise above their limitations? What role did attitude play?
2. What limitations have played the biggest role in your feelings of insecurity?

Personal disposition

(Re-read page 83 for reference)
My notes: The more tenderhearted we are, the more vulnerable to insecurity we are. It’s just the facts.

1. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being very sensitive), how sensitive would you say you are? How have you seen this correlation between sensitivity an insecurity play out in your life?

Our culture

(Re-read page 92-93 for reference)
My notes: As we have more women to compare to, we are less satisfied with ourselves. This has and will continue to get worse for each generations. We’re all getting older, though. Know where your personal boundaries lie/and are appropriate when it comes to certain situations within our culture.

1. Give some examples of unrealistic portrayals of women from magazines, tv, movies, and books. How do they media portrayals affect your view of yourself? How might they affect other women in your life (daughter, mother, grandparent, sister, friend, classmate)?
2. How can we be discerning consumers of media? Would you consider going on a media “fast”? What do you think the results would be?

Pride

(Re-read page 100-102 for reference)
My notes: We all have egos and we won’t feel better about ourselves by feeling worse about others. And we won’t feel better about ourselves by being consumed with ourselves. Confess your pride to God! And let Him take care of the rest.

1. How has pride been a factor in your life? What circumstances cause it to come about for you?
2. What is the difference between pride and confidence? What role does humility play in true security?

Beth says: “So many of the roots of insecurity come from people who let us down and circumstances that disappoint us-families who weren’t there for us, losses that took their toll on us, people who rejected us. There’s no glossing over the fact that life can be devastatingly difficult. We may feel like we’ve earned the right to live with hurt and insecurity. But those of us who know Christ possess an infinitely greater right. In Him, we have the right to be free and whole. We have the God-given right to be secure.

Now that we’ve got a good grip on the things that bog us down as women, we need to immerse ourselves in what can us truly secure. Through Scripture, I want to remind us just how rock solid our God really is. He is our only real root of security, and He can comfort us through the struggles life presents us.”

1. Read the following verses:
   1. James 1:17
   2. Hebrews 13:8
   3. Psalm 102: 25-27
      What do these verses tell you about God’s character? How can those truths comfort us in the midst of instability or change?
2. Read Psalm 121 and Deuteronomy 31:8. What can we learn about God’s care for us from these verse? How can this help us as we deal with feelings of rejection or loss?

In your journal:

1. Reflect on your insecurity and look at the roots of it. Ask God to help you find 2 or 3 that have impacted you the most and then bring them to Him. Ask for help in overcoming those insecurities.
2. Write down (throughout the week) different ways that the media pressures us about the way we look and act. Find an article, advertisement, or whatever to share with everyone next week!
3. Read Revelation 21:3-5. And then just reflect on the knowledge that God cares so much about you that He will wipe each tear from your eyes! Thank Him for everything during your prayer time today!

Assigned Reading: Chapter 7, 8, and 9. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests?

Have a great day, y’all!

So Long, Insecurity: Week 3

We are 3 weeks into our studying and just trucking along!

In prep for today’s discussion, we were all to read chapter 4.

Week 3’s focus was to understand that insecurity touches everyone – even people who are greatly used by God. For me, I really grasped the concept that insecurity comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms. I also learned that insecurity has dated allllll the way back to the beginning, with Eve. Doesn’t it make you feel good to know that it’s been around for a long time? And it’s not just us?

Last week we ended with the challenge from chapter 3 about letting God’s truth about ourselves take center stage and remind us of the treasure we have and we are in Christ. So…how has this challenge affected you in the past week? Have you noticed any changes in the way you think or react to things that would typically trigger your insecurity?

A word from Beth: If you’re ever tempted to think that the people we read about in the Old and New Testaments had picture-perfect lives, think again. Some of these folks make us look like paragons of emotional wellness! We’ll look at some of these people in all their lack of splendor and realize they’re pretty much just like us. We’ll also discover that God still considered these weak, insecure, fearful people to be usable for His purposes. In fact, some of them, like Moses an dPaul, are considered giants of the faith! Praise the Lord for His ability to redeem even our weaknesses for His glory.

So let’s get started!!!!

 Several biblical characters are mentioned in this chapter: Eve (Genesis 3), Sarai and Hagar (Genesis 16), Rachel and Leah (Genesis 29:31-30:24), Moses (Exodus 3-4:17), Saul (1 Samuel 10:9-27), and Paul (2 Corinthians 11:5-6).

1. As you read the different stories about insecurity, which biblical characters do you most identify with? Which ones have your sympathy, and why?
2. Is it a new idea for you to interpret these people’s actions in light of insecurity? How does it change your perception of these men and women?

Beth says that sometimes we can realize that our fears aren’t always going to pass. When that happens, we can rationally talk ourselves down from crazy, insecurity-fueled behavior. But some fears are valid. Like your significant other is desiring someone else, your best friend is giving you the cold shoulder, or your boss gave you a bad review. Then what?

She suggests: even when fears are founded and threats are real and we are about to be swept away in insecurity, there’s divine power, wisdom, and clarity to be found. The person who responds with strength instead of hysteria are a time like that may be a stranger to you right now, but finding that person is what we are doing here. (pg. 49)

1. How do you react to valid threats or fears? When these fears prompt intense feelings of insecurity, what tools could you use to deal with them?

Insecurity lives in constant terror of loss. Insecure people are always afraid that something or someone is going to be taken from them. Saul feared loss of power and admiration, and quickly determined that David would be the one to take it from him, He didn’t get that God was in charge of his destiny and the only one who could jar that crown off his head. (pg. 54) From (1 Samuel 10:9-27)

1. Insecurity is driven by the fear of loss. What do you fear losing, and how does it fuel your insecurity? (This is private. You don’t need to share!)
2. What role do you believe God plays in handling your life and future? What impact does that have on how you deal with your fears?

Looking deeper into scripture, let’s check out this from King Saul. On pg. 55 Beth says: Saul let his emotions get so out of control that his insecurity morphed into complete instability. It happens. Interestingly, Saul had moments of emotional sobriety when he knew how far left he’d gone and even wept with regret over his actions towards David. Nevertheless, he refused to call out to God for deliverance from his own unhealthy emotions. Can God deliver us from our emotions?? Yep!

1. Read Psalm 34:1-4. Why is the write of this psalm praising God?
2. When was a time you experienced God delivering you – setting you free – from your fears?
3. So yes, insecurity tempts us to wallow in our unhealthy emotions. It tells us that there’s no way out, and it calls us deeper and deeper into the pit of fear, jealousy, and self-loathing. But God’s Word says there is a way out. He is the way out! Read 1 Cor. 10:13. What does God promise in this passage?
4. When has the Lord provided a way out of temptation for you? What do you think would happen if you prayed for Him to make a pathway out of your insecurity?

Then Paul. Paul is considered to be an example of Hope for us because he was transformed through Christ.

1. Read Acts 7:54-8:3, which shows what Paul’s life was like before he encountered Christ. After committing his life to Christ, what might Paul have felt insecure about in regards to his past?

Beth goes on to ask “Can you imagine going through life as a missionary when at any moment you might come face-to-face with one of the believers you had persecuted? “Hey, Paul – nice sermon. I haven’t seen you since that time you threw me in jail.” Nothing like being reminded of your sin, Beth states. Or what about those who discounted Paul’s ministry, even though he had a clear call from God, because he didn’t actually know Jesus when He was on earth? No wonder Paul comes across as insecure at times! But here’s the thing: Jesus Christ was conforming Paul to His image, just as He’s conforming you and me if we’ve made a commitment to Him and if we’re letting Him work. In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul goes on at a length, telling the church all the things he ould boast about on a human level – his Jewish pedigree, his education in the Law, his visions and revelations from the Lord, his hard work, and the suffering he endured because he preached the gospel. But then, with almost shocking honesty, he writes about his weakness.

1. Read 2 Corinthians 12:6-10. What does it mean to boast about our weaknesses? In what way are we strong when we are weak?
2. Can you think of a time in your life when Christ’s grace was sufficient for you? What impact would it have on our sense of security if we truly grasped Christ’s sufficiency in our weakness?

Paul’s transformation to security was a gradual thing. Just like us, he probably took 2 steps forward and one step back, over and over again. (That sounds familiar to me…) But don’t be fooled: that’s still progress! Every time God teaches us to let go of our egos, our pride, and our constant comparisons with others and replace them with gratitude for His grace, we’re moving forward. When we can stop trying to impress others with accomplishments and instead let them see our true selves, we’ve taken a step toward realizing that our true values doesn’t rest on our own strength but on Christ.

1. Read Psalm 46:10. Do you ever feel like you’re in a battle constantly striving to look right, dress right, and act right? What would it look like to be still – to be free from all that? How might God free you?

So if you’d like to share, what are your needs and how can the group be praying for you? The power of prayer is no joke, my friends 🙂

In your journal:

1. Consider the threats you have that trigger your insecurity. What are you afraid of losing, and how does the fear affect your thoughts and actions? As you write, ask God to reveal the truth about these threats. If they are overblown, ask Him to give you clarify to see them as they are. If they’re real, ask for strength to deal with them with His help.
2. Read 2 Corinthians 12:9 and write it on an index card. Put the index card on your mirror, in your car, on the fridge, or somewhere that you pass every day so you see it. Pray that God will help you realize His strength can shine through your weakness. Remember you are precious and usable to Him.

Assigned Reading: Chapter 5 and 6. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests?

So Long, Insecurity: Week 2

Week two is here!

The reading for this week was the Chapter 2 and 3.

Week 2 is all about how insecurity affects us. We read that before we can really cut insecurity out of our lives we need to understand what it is. To be completely honest, there may be some envy among us bloggers. As Beth states in her leader’s guide: Let’s not let envy get in the way of the support a group like this can offer. Let’s pray that we can see each other clearly and with hearts of compassion not comparison.

So how do we know if we have a problem with insecurity? Beth says in Chapter 2:

“We all have insecurities. They piggyback on the vulnerability in our humanity. The question is whether or not our insecurities are substantial enough to hurt limit, or even distract us from profound effectiveness or fulfillment of purpose. Are they cheating us of the power and abundant life Jesus flagrantly promised?…I’m convinced many women-if not most-have enough insecurity to hinder them.” Pg. 15-16

1. Share a specific time in your past when insecurity kept you from doing something you wanted to do or stopped you from using your gifts. How does it hinder you today?
2. Before we go further, we need to develop a working definition of insecurity. How would you define insecurity in a word or brief phrase?

On page 17 Beth writes the definition of insecurity by Joseph Nowinski:

“Insecurity refers to a profound sense of self-doubt – a deep feeling of uncertainty bout our basic worth and our place in the world. Insecurity is associated with chronic self-consciousness, along with a chronic lack of confidence in ourselves and anxiety about our relationships. The insecure man or woman lives in constant fear of rejection and a deep uncertainty about whether his or her own feelings and desires are legitimate.” Pg. 16

1. What part of this definition seems accurate? Is there anything about it that surprises you? If you feel comfortable, explain how you fit this description in the comments.

Part 2 of that same definition says:

The insecure person also harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. These expectations, for themselves and for others, ar often unconscious. The insecure person creates a situation in which being disappointed and hurt in relationships is almost inevitable. Ironically, although insecure people re easily and frequently hurt, they are usually unaware of how they are unwitting accomplices in creating their own misery.” Pg.23

I particularly loved this definition and really resonated with it. I found it so true in my own lives and seeing it played out in the lives of others.

1. So think about movies and/or tv shows, or even news items. Can you find an example of self-sabotage in relationships? If you think of something, share it with us!!
2. What unrealistic expectations have you placed on relationships in the past? How can we become more conscious of our negative pattern in relationships?
   • Are you the one thinking he’s going to text you every morning to say “good morning”? Do you think he’s going to tell you how beautiful you are every day?
   • It can be in regards to your friendships as well.

Beth then moves on to discuss in chapter 3 about the “false positive” on page 36-37 when she was in a conversation with a friend and the friend mentions how she can’t imagine Beth struggles with insecurity…because she’s so tiny. The false positive is one thing that we think would make us more secure in all things.

1. Look at the list on page 38 of false positives. Which ones really stand out to you the most? Can you identify which is your false positive – the one thing you think would make you secure?

Our insecurities are too deeply rooted within us to be easily fixed. Although we have unhealthy ways of thinking, we are not hopeless because we have Christ in us. Nothing can make us secure, not a husband, or a fit body, or a prettier face. Nothing but Jesus.

1. So read Romans 8:9. What hope does this verse offer?
2. Read 2 Corinthians 4:7. What words does this verse use to describe Christ living within us? How should this transform the way we view ourselves?

Beth shares about how her own insecurities affect her view of God. Read on page 18 from “This morning I went on a walk…to…I wonder if you can relate.”

1. Read Psalm 139:1-4, 13-14. What does this passage reveal about how well God knows us? How does He view us,e even with that full knowledge?
2. Then read Ephesians 2:10. How are believers described in this verse What impact should this truth make on how you view yourself and live your life?
3. Then read 1 Peter 2:9-10. How are believers described in this passage? What is our purpose?

In your journal:

1. What barriers does insecurity place on you that you want to be free from?
2. Also, re-read Psalm 139, Ephesians 2:10, 1 Peter 2:9-10 every day this week. And just think about them.
3. Re-read the challenge Beth put at the end of chapter 3 on page 43: “Let healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our eaten vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s ruth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in hHis glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.”

Assigned Reading: Chapter 4. As you’re reading in the book, underline what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests: How can we be praying for you this week?

**If anyone is wanting to join the study, just purchase the book (click the picture on my sidebar) so you can follow along with us!! We’d love to have you.**

Ephesians 2:10

So Long, Insecurity: Week 1

Week one is down! Get your journals and pens out ladies, we’re digging in!

The reading for this week was the Introduction and Chapter 1.

Chapter 1 talks about how insecurity affects all of us as women. Remember  when Beth mentions how much of a mess all of us with X chromosomes are? Here are some questions to think about. Write the questions and answers in a journal, so you can go back through and look at this study in the future.

1. How pervasive is insecurity among women? Are there some women who seem to get off the hook when it comes to insecurity, or do you think it’s something we all have problems with?
2. When was the last time you cam face-to-face with our gender’s struggle with insecurity? Have you ever felt angry about the extent to which insecurity affects women?
3. What helps you feel secure? When in your life have you felt the most secure?

On page 5 and 7, Beth discusses the sermon she heard about what a woman needs from a man, and then says “What if nobody tells us we’re desirable, beautiful, or whatever it may be”? Can we be okay with that? And why do we do this to ourselves? I know for me, I feel as though I put a lot of worth in qualities I can’t change – appearance, personality, etc. Why do I let someone’s opinion matter that much to me?

1. In our culture, how much weight do women place on male validation? Share an example of how you’ve seen this in today’s movies, television, music, etc.
2. What problems result on this dependence?

We know that insecurity is so common and found in most of us as humans, there is hope! We know that we don’t want a sense of self-worth solely focused on other’s opinions. What do we do about that? Beth answers that on page 10, “I want some soul-deep security drawn from a source that never runs dry and disparages us for requiring it. We need a place we can go when, as much as we loathe it, we are needy and hysterical. I don’t now about you, but I need someone who will love me when I hate myself. And yes, someone who will love me again and gain until I kiss this terrestrial sod good-bye.”

So where can we get that kind of security?

1. Read Jeremiah 17:7-8. So what are the characteristics of a secure person? Where does security have its roots?
2. What does it mean to make the Lord your hope and confidence? Can you think of a time when you were able to do this? What happened?
3. Read Psalm 103:13-18. Which phrases in the passage highlight how short life on earth is?? Which words remind us of God’s eternal nature? *Highlight them if you want!*

The psalmist reminds us that everything of this earth will eventually fade away. Nothing material will last forever. When was the last time that you held on to something only to watch it crumble before you? A relationship maybe? We know deep down that we shouldn’t be finding security in men, our physical appearance, a house, money, but we are so desperate for security that we will look for it anywhere. But we’re looking for it in all the wrong places. We need to be looking for security in the one thing that never fails, that is a secure foundation…Jesus.

1. The Lord created us and knows how fragile we are. But what is His response, according to Psalm 103? What does this tell us about how he views us when we struggle with insecurity? *Key words in this passage are compassion and love.*

In your journal, write:

1. A entry describing the present season of your life and why you chose to read this book. How do you want to be changed and what do you want to really get out of this stuff? Write this entry in the form of a prayer.
2. Now think about how you can reach that goal. What do you need to get the most of the experience? Do you need to journal regularly? Pray regularly? Get an accountability partner?

Beth Moore talks mentions that she wants every insecure woman to open up this book and then close is a secure women. So do what you need to do in order to reach your goal and make it happen!!

Assigned Reading: Chapter 2 and 3. As you’re reading in the book, underlie what is jumping out at you, what you think is true, what surprises you, and what seems to be the most challenging. Maybe you highlight the answers to each of those questions in a different color.

Prayer Requests: What do you want us to be praying for you this week? Don’t forget to look at last week’s comments to see what we should all be praying for.

**If anyone is wanting to join the study, just purchase the book (click the picture on my sidebar) so you can follow along with us!! We’d love to have you.**

So Long, Insecurity: Introduction

Oh, friends. I am EXCITED about today. Months ago, I brainstormed the idea of an online Bible study. My Church has a young adult’s Bible study, but it’s always on Tuesday nights. I can’t ever go because my school schedule is Tuesday/Thursday. However, I want to consistent with my Bible reading, praying, worshipping, and connecting with other Christ-followers. When I realized there are a lot of us here in the blog world that don’t have that extra time to meet with a study group, or have friends that they feel comfortable spending time with, etc. I asked myself why the heck I couldn’t start a study online?

So I did.

And I told y’all.

And some of you decided to take the leap of faith with me.

So here we are, the very first week of our study of Beth Moore’s “So Long, Insecurity.” Right now there are 8 of us doing the study, if you’d like to join, click the picture!

And I hope you all look like I do right now. No make-up, yoga pants, book in your hand, big ol’ smile on your face, and hair thrown up in a crazy bun…because that’s the joy of this OBS thing! 🙂

It’s going to be the perfect way to start our work week/school week/week in general. While you have a whole week to do your reading, I would encourage you to carve aside the same time every week for this study. Make it a routine so you don’t forget!

I’m planning to stay a week ahead of you all so that if anyone has any questions they can ask. Plus I think it will move a lot more smoothe that way 🙂 That said, i’ve already read the first part (that’s assigned at the end of this post).

This week is just going to be an introduction week, so let’s start off by “introducing” ourselves. I’ll post mine in the comments section too!

1. What is your name and where are you from?

2. What’s your blog title and web address?

3. What’s your favorite past-time or hobby?

4. What do you hope to get from the study by the time it’s over?

5. What do you need from the group/will help you get the most from this experience?

Reading Assignment: Introduction and Chapter 1.

Prayer Requests: What do you have this week? Leave them in the comments and i’ll put them in next week’s post too. Like I said, I want to be praying over each of you ladies. And if you’d rather keep it private please e-mail or text me. XO